Treat yourself like a beloved friend

Well-being 🌿 | Be kind 🤗 | #Self-compassion #Kindness #Acceptance

TL;DR

• Self-compassion is crucial for mental well-being and involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding.

• Acknowledge your human vulnerabilities and challenges without self-judgment, and create a growth plan without self-criticism.

• Celebrate your successes, be honest with yourself without harsh judgment, and practice self-kindness as you would to a beloved friend.

Photo by Anastasiia Krutota on Unsplash

Seed

Sometimes it is critical to make sure you take care of yourself first. Self-compassion is crucial for our mental health and well-being. It means treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Just as we would treat a dear friend.

Unfortunately, we often neglect to show ourselves compassion. We can judge ourselves harshly, criticise our perceived weaknesses, and focus on our failures.

First, remember that you're only human. And it's okay to experience emotions and moments of vulnerability. Pay attention to the signals your body and emotions send you. Accept them without judgment. Recognise that weaknesses and challenges are a natural part of life's journey.

If you wish to overcome your weaknesses, create a plan for personal growth. However, it's crucial not to beat yourself up for being human. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion as you navigate through your challenges. Think about how you would treat a friend facing similar difficulties.

Take the time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Take a few minutes each day to acknowledge something positive you have done. By showing self-benevolence you can build self-esteem and confidence.

Honesty is valuable, but it doesn't require judgmental self-criticism. Be honest with yourself about your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement. Approach self-reflection with curiosity and a growth mindset. Focus on learning rather than self-condemnation.

Become aware of your automatic thoughts and the harshness they might carry. When you catch yourself in a negative thought pattern, ask yourself: "Would I say the same thing to my best friend in this situation?" Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a loved one.

Practising self-kindness and self-compassion is vital for your well-being and mental health. Nurture a positive relationship with yourself. Celebrate successes and embrace your humanity to cultivate self-acceptance and kindness.

Remember, you deserve the same love and compassion you offer to others. Treat yourself as you would a beloved friend. And witness the transformative power of self-kindness in your life.

Example

Recently, at work, I missed a detail in the middle of a complex process that lead me to be unable to understand why something wasn’t working the way I expected it to.

And when I figured out my mistake, I felt really bad about myself. I even caught myself thinking “I’m so stupid”. I missed a tiny simple detail that cost me a headache, looking for a solution in the wrong place for way too long.

But then, I remembered this Seed. So I imagined what I would say to my best friend if they were beating themselves up in this same situation. And I gave myself all that compassion. It really felt like applying a soothing balm, and I needed it at that time.

Bonus

Some of us tend to regularly practice self-depreciation in a humorous way. It doesn’t look like a big deal. We don’t really mean it. But we still say it.

This can lead to an illusory truth effect, where the person who says it, and/or the ones who hear it will eventually consciously or subconsciously believe the statement as true.

And for those who think that self-deprecation is their way of being humble, I’ll quote C. S. Lewis:

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.