TL;DR
To stick with something hard, you need two things: a real reason, and short-term motivators (streaks, rewards, notifications) to carry you while the thing takes root.
The motivators only help while they stay secondary. When they become the point, youâre doing it for the score, and the practice hollows out.
So use them, but stay honest about why you started, and drop or swap the motivators the moment they take over.
Seed
Last week I read a piece about meditation, which made me think quite a lot. During that reflection, I noticed the piece was making a point much bigger than meditation. This post is that point.
The pattern
Every hard, long-term thing Iâve ever stuck with followed the same four steps:
Start for a real reason. A positive output you actually want: improving yourself (âI want to calm my brain downâ), helping others (âI want to solve this problem for my usersâ), etc. Not noble, just honest. This is the part everything else serves.
Add short-term motivators. Streaks, notifications, games, rewards, pride: whatever keeps you showing up while you build the muscle of showing up for the reason itself. And thatâs not cheating. The world already points our cognitive shortcuts at things that donât serve us, with products designed to hook us and apps designed to keep us scrolling. Aiming those same shortcuts at something you actually care about is a legitimate way to fight back.
Watch for the flip. The motivators are supposed to serve the reason. The moment your first thought flips from âI want to do this because it feels goodâ to âI canât lose that streakâ, youâre doing the thing for the streak. Drop the motivator or swap it for another one, and go back to step 2.
Repeat until the reason carries itself. Each round, the motivator matters a bit less. Eventually the behaviour holds up on its own, with or without motivators.
A few clarifications, because the model is easy to misread:
Keeping a motivator forever is fine. Use a crutch if you need one, as long as you know itâs a crutch. For some goals the motivator never fades, and the habit still holds. Thatâs not a failure of the model, itâs just what maintenance looks like.
Being stuck means something. If you keep looping between motivator and corruption, it usually means you never built the skill, or never reached the goal you set. Which might be the moment to ask: is it the method thatâs wrong, or the objective itself? (Objectives are allowed to change. Mine did, more below. Integrity is not loyalty to your original reason, but honesty about your current one.)
Dealing with mixed thoughts. I make it sound simpler than it is. In reality, you might think first âif I donât do this, Iâll break my streakâ and only then remember why you started. Thatâs fine: the streak-thought keeps the habit at the top of your mind, and the remembered reason is the check that it still makes sense. That little switch is where most of the model actually happens. The order of the thoughts doesnât matter, as long as the return to the reason is real. The problem starts when the remembering stops being honest, when âI should do it because itâs good for meâ becomes an excuse attached to a thought that was only about the streak.
The test
Thatâs also where the test lives. You never know what a practice is about while everything is going well. The test comes on the day the motivator and the reason point in different directions, and you can only pick one.
If youâre sick and the streak will die, do you exercise, take the lesson, or meditate anyway to keep the streak, or do you let the streak die and rest for your health? If a feature would double your revenue but quietly hurt the users you built the product for, do you ship it? Thatâs Goodhartâs law in miniature: when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure. The streak stops measuring your practice the moment you start practising for the streak.
Example
My main case: meditation. I started five years ago because I needed to calm my brain down, and it worked. Then came the gamified app phase: streaks, reminders, the whole package. It did help me come back to the practice on the days I wouldnât have: the motivator doing its job.
But at some point, I noticed the flip: meditating had become a chore, âI canât lose that streakâ instead of âI want to meditate because it feels good.â So I dropped it.
I practice less than I did back then, and I only practice when I genuinely want to pause and recenter. But the skill stayed: I notice thoughts as thoughts, I know how to slow my breathing down, I carry âbe mindfulâ with me every day. I lost the habit of using the app. I kept the habit of being mindful. The motivator was there for the learning; the reason is what stayed.
The same pattern runs everywhere once you see it: the running app streak that gets you out the door but has you running injured to protect it, the language app session you do for the daily tick rather than the learning, the diet that becomes about the tracking app rather than your health.
And the pattern isnât just personal habits. Take content creation, which is fitting, since youâre reading one now. The reason: sharing an opinion that might help someone, connect with people. The motivator: subscriber counts, likes, the streak of posting on schedule. The pull to write what gets clicks instead of what you mean, or to publish something half-finished just to keep the streak alive, is the flip at work. Iâd love to tell you this post is above it. Itâs part of my own test.
Take business: you start a company to solve a problem for your customers, and you use making money as the motivator. That works. Revenue pays the bills, pays your people, keeps the doors open. But the moment the goal becomes ever more money rather than solving the problem, the original reason gets corrupted. Ask any business that shipped a worse product and called it growth.
Bonus
Iâm clearly not the first person to notice this pattern; itâs been studied for decades. If you want to go deeper:
Goodhartâs law â âWhen a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.â Thatâs the corruption mechanism, named.
Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan) â motivation moves from external (do it for the notification) to introjected (the streak, the guilt) to identified (âI know itâs good for meâ) to integrated (itâs part of who you are). My app phase was stuck at introjected; the practice only recovered when it moved inward.
Over-justification effect â external rewards can crowd out the reasons that actually sustain you.
Nudge (Thaler & Sunstein) â the positive framing: if our cognitive shortcuts are going to be used, better theyâre used for us. They call it choice architecture.
Robert Merton called it goal displacement back in the 1940s: means becoming ends.
And the piece that started this: Meditation is not self-help, a take on how wellness culture turned meditation into a transactional self-improvement tool.
Related Mental Seeds posts: Break your daily streaks (the Duolingo streak story: this pattern in one domain) and Create elastic habits.
Pierre my dude, this one is such a great piece. As you mentioned, is exactly the point that was missing. Thanks a lot for writing it and fingers crossed for all of us to find a more fulfilling, peaceful lifeđ