Help yourself before helping others

Well-being 🌿 | Build resilience 🌊 | #Self-care #Help #Priorities

TL;DR

• Prioritise self-care to be more effective in supporting others.

• Communicate your need for self-care with those affected.

• It's okay to ask for help and prioritise your own needs to be better equipped to support others later on.

Photo by Calle Macarone on Unsplash

Seed

Have you ever been on a plane and heard the flight attendant say, "In case of an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others"? This is because you won't be able to help anyone else if you faint because of a lack of oxygen.

It's a familiar safety instruction, but it also holds a valuable life lesson. In many situations, we need to help ourselves before we can effectively help others.

If you neglect your own needs, you'll be less efficient at helping others. And in extreme cases, you may even collapse and be unable to support those around you. So when you feel like things are getting tough, take some time for yourself to regroup and recharge.

This doesn't mean you're being selfish. It's simply a matter of prioritising your well-being so that you can show up for the people who need you.

Be sure to communicate your choices with those who are impacted. Especially if your way to recharge implies isolating for some time. Let them know that you need time to get better and that you'll be back as soon as you can.

There may be situations where you need to take care of yourself urgently, while others are counting on you. That’s where you have to remember that it’s okay to ask for help around you. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. And you’ll be surprised how people can be willing to help when you ask for support.

It’s also a valuable Seed to remember if you tend to put others first and have difficulties saying no. Remember that you cannot make everyone 100% happy. Tending to your needs won’t make this worse. In fact, when you prioritise your own needs, you're preparing yourself to be in a better position to help others later on.

So put on your own oxygen mask first and take care of yourself, so you can be your best self for those you care about.

Example

There is a quote, but I can’t remember who said this; it’s something like: “It’s when you think you don’t have time to rest that you probably need it most”. If you know, please let me know in the comments.

The closest one I could find is attributed to Sydney Harris: “The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”

Let’s say you have a thousand things to do this week. Everyone is asking something from you, and you’re exhausted. No time to rest. Well that’s the perfect opportunity to:

• Acknowledge that you are exhausted

• Acknowledge that you need to take a break - even if it’s just a short nap

• Ask for help around so you can create time to rest

• Relax

Bonus

This idea can apply beyond just the topic of well-being. For instance, it’s a well-known strategy to manage finances: pay yourself first, this will force you to save money, and then use what’s left to pay your bills.