Don’t dwell on the past
Well-being 🌿 | Letting go 🍃 | #Past #Memories #Present
TL;DR
Don't waste energy revisiting the past; it cannot be changed.
Recognise the impermanence of things, including ourselves, and choose how to view past events.
Focus on the present, learn from the past, and let go to foster personal growth and a positive mindset.
Seed
Are you someone who often dwells on the past? Do you find yourself revisiting memories, both good and bad? It's natural to get caught up in thoughts of the past. But it's important to realise that constantly living there can drain your energy.
First, as obvious as it seems, remember that the past is immutable. Let that thought sink in, with everything it implies. Whatever happened has already happened, and there's nothing we can do to alter it. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong or what could have been, focus on accepting that the past is beyond our control.
Secondly, everything in life is impermanent, including ourselves. We are constantly evolving and changing. This applies not only to us but also to others around us. And holding onto past versions of ourselves or others can prevent us from embracing the present and moving forward.
But while we can't change the past, we can change our perspective and our feelings about past events. If you find yourself repeatedly thinking about a past event, whether it's something you regret or something someone did to you, it's essential not to waste too much energy reliving that memory.
Instead, consider if there's any action you can take today regarding the situation. Is there something left to be done or said? If so, focus on taking those steps. One step might be to discuss it with a professional to help you manage your perspective on the event. Additionally, reflect on what valuable lessons you can extract from the experience.
However, it's crucial not to torture yourself by dwelling on a negative memory, making yourself feel worse every time it resurfaces. Allow yourself to let go of that burden and shift your attention to the present moment.
The present is where life happens, where new opportunities arise, and where you can make positive changes.
Example
A few weeks after my puppy arrived home, we had an altercation involving some shouting, biting, scolding and swearing… in French… Gasp! The thing is, when I remember it, I feel terribly ashamed of my reaction at that time. And it has haunted me for several months.
But then, I allowed myself to think that, like everyone, I make mistakes, especially when I'm tired. And I learned from this error how to avoid conflict with my pup. Now, even if she behaves poorly, we have a soft way to resolve the problem.
I still feel a bit bad at times when I think about it. But at least not bad enough to feel like I'm the worst person in the world and I don't deserve this puppy.
The memory has not disappeared. But the emotions attached to it are less intense, especially now that I can see the positive sides of this bad experience.
Also, note that she forgave me, and now we’re cool.
Bonus
Here is a nice article on how to reframe negative experiences, by Benoit des Ligneries:
How Reframing Negative Experiences Can Make You Happier | by Benoit des Ligneris | Better Humans
Sweet :)