Define and follow your North Star
Well-being 🌿 | Know yourself 🧭 | #Goals #Identity #Happiness
TL;DR
Set life goals or "mantras" as a compass for decision-making, emphasising autonomy and freedom.
James Clear's concept of Identity-Based Habits focuses on shaping habits based on who you want to become, fostering stickability.
Drawing from stoicism, it is advised to build and maintain a limited set of habits, regularly reviewing and adjusting them to align with personal growth and changing contexts.
Seed
In another Seed, Plan your way out of the rut, I mentioned: "Read through the list of your goals and mantras". In this Seed, we will explore what those Goals, Mantras or North Star are.
The idea is to set for yourself, a general direction to help you to reduce the cost of making decisions and get in motion faster.
And the best way to explain it is by quoting Fabien Olicard (French mentalist) in this interview with Brut.
"My life goals, I called them 'Mantras'. The user manual to quickly reach these mantras is as follows: take a sheet of paper and, over the course of a day or two - you need to give yourself enough time - list all the goals you have in life, all the things you would like to have, to do, to accomplish, to experience.
It could be something like skydiving, but it could also be as simple as buying the latest gaming console. There are no limits, no judgments. Write down everything. Once you have that, try to divide the list in half by finding new sentences that encompass multiple ideas from the initial sentences.
So, if I had "buying a new gaming console" and "going to Disneyland", maybe I could combine those two into something as simple as "spending time playing."
That way, you can group several things together and continue dividing the list in this manner.Once it's divided in half, you'll again try to find concepts that bring sentences together. This is where it becomes a bit more challenging because you have to - it's almost philosophical work - find what connects everything. And once you have two, three, or four sentences left, you'll look for one to three keywords to represent all of those sentences.
I've come to understand two things: my personal mantras are autonomy and freedom. If I achieve these two things in my life, then I am happy.
And my mantras work a bit like a compass: it's as if I hold a compass in my hand, and every time an opportunity presents itself, or I have a decision to make, or anything else, I check if the needle points towards autonomy and freedom.
If one of them doesn't, I decline.
And if neither does, I run away.And everyone can do this. I assure you, it relieves you of a tremendous mental burden to finally know which words make you happy."
Next, I'd like to talk about another concept, developed by James Clear: Identity-Based Habits.
Constructive and solid habits are a great way to reach our goals, so I think it really goes along with the concept of Mantras we just reviewed.
Identity-Based Habits are a way to create a habit by defining first who you want to become. Then, how you want to get there. And finally, what you are going to achieve.
We tend to define goals based on what we want to achieve before defining who we want to be. But it is easier to stick with a habit if it is related to who you are instead of what you accomplish.
Here's James Clear's blog post on this topic.
And finally, to wrap this up, a recommendation found in stoicism: build fewer habits, but stick to them.
Take your time to go through the exercises above, defining your Mantras, and some Identity-based habits. Be as honest as you can with yourself when you do it. And once you're done, stick to this compass for a while.
It's important to regularly review them, assessing if they still make sense. Over time, you will change, and the context you evolve in will change. And therefore maybe you should update your compass accordingly.
Just make sure not to change too often. Give yourself, your compass and your habits enough time to grow.
Example
I defined my mantras as Passion and Freedom - sounds like the title of a cheesy soap opera, doesn't it?
Typical case:
I receive a new job offer. It's new, it’s exciting, it pays well, they really want me in the team, etc. You get the picture.
The first two questions I'll have to ask myself are:
Am I passionate about this new role and responsibilities and/or the industry?
Will I have enough freedom in this role? What may diminish my feeling of freedom there?
This will help me filter quickly if I want to consider this option or not.
Another case:
What habit could I create to make myself feel better?
It turns out, one thing I love is music. I'm passionate about music and composing music, and I have the freedom to create any content I like.
Therefore, I'll create the following habit:
Identity: I’m a musician - I play and record music because I’m passionate about it, and I have the freedom to create whatever I want.
Process: I’ll block time to create music. I'll set up my environment so it's easy to get started - my guitar is ready to grab near my desk and I have templates ready to open in Logic Pro X to start working.
Outcome: I’ll produce and publish at least one new song this month.
And I just committed publicly to release something new. No pressure. It will be published here, on Spotify and other major streaming platforms.
Bonus
If you fancy practising French with a great mentalist, here's Fabien Olicard's YouTube channel.
He also published several great books. As soon as I find the links to the English versions, I’ll share them here.
And finally, if you haven’t already, consider subscribing to James Clear’s 3-2-1 Newsletter. “The most wisdom per word of any newsletter on the web.”