Aim for balanced positivity
Well-being 🌿 | Be honest with yourself 🫣 | #Awareness #Balance #Positivity
TL;DR
Balanced positivity is about acknowledging both the positives and negatives.
Because acknowledging the positives is valuable for your mental health.
And ignoring the negatives will make you miss valuable signals when something needs to be taken care of.
Seed
We are often told to look on the bright side and to stay positive. But sometimes that can lead to denial and ignoring important aspects of our lives. Being positive is not about ignoring what's wrong. It's rather accepting the negative effects while looking for the positive ones.
Think about the metaphor of a glass of water being half full or half empty, and assume you are extremely thirsty. Negativity would be to say that it is half empty. Toxic positivity would be to say that the glass is full of both water and air. But in this context, it's important to acknowledge that the glass is only half full of what you need and not ignore the negative aspect. Positivity would be to say that the glass is half full of water, which is already better than nothing.
Constantly looking for only the positive aspects of situations can be addictive and lead to a lack of balance in our lives. It's important to acknowledge the negative aspects and accept or change the situation, rather than just ignoring it. And I insist there is a critical difference between ignoring something that bothers us and accepting it.
Ignoring our emotional state can lead to deeper issues that could have been avoided if we had just acknowledged how we were feeling. Life is made up of ups and downs, and ignoring the downs means missing out on a significant part of life.
So, instead of being overly positive, we can look for balance. We can acknowledge what's wrong and also extract at least one positive thing in every situation.
Example
Practising gratitude is part of balanced positivity. It's about acknowledging what goes well and what we are thankful for. It doesn't mean you should always be grateful for everything or ignore what's wrong. There are already enough opportunities to see what’s wrong in our daily lives. So a daily dose of honest gratitude is good to balance things out.
Bonus
“It’s going to be alright”.
That’s a sentence I struggle with. Whether when I feel like saying it or when I hear it. It often makes me think “Well, you have no idea how things are going to be, actually”.
And I realised that, depending on the context, these few words can be a form of toxic positivity.
So I think if we really have to say it it might be best to always join a few other words to this sentence. Something to mention that we acknowledge that it’s a difficult time, to acknowledge the pain or distress, but that we also have reasons to believe that it’s going to be alright.
“I understand that you’re disappointed. But I’ve seen you going through worse and I know you have the resources to face it. It’s going to be alright.”