TL;DR

• LLMs are powerful but inherently unpredictable because they generate what sounds right, not what’s guaranteed to be correct.

• Deterministic layers (semantic models, workflows, schemas, validation rules) limit how the model can fail and keep outputs inside safe boundaries.

• Prompting and fine‑tuning help shape behaviour, but they don’t enforce rules; only deterministic layers provide hard constraints.

• With controlled freedom, the model can still make unexpected choices, but only within the range you’ve defined.

• Your AI will only be as reliable as the deterministic structure you wrap around it.

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The rise of the Deterministic Layer

A pattern is becoming clear across every organisation experimenting with AI: the real value doesn’t come from the size of the model or the cleverness of the prompt. It comes from the structure wrapped around the model: the part that makes its output predictable, safe, and aligned with how the business actually works.

LLMs are probabilistic systems. They generate answers by predicting what sounds right, not by applying business rules or checking facts. That’s why they can be brilliant one moment and confidently wrong the next. For most leaders, that unpredictability is the gap between an impressive demo and something you’d trust in a real workflow.

This is where deterministic layers change the equation. A deterministic layer is any structure that constrains the model to operate within your rules: semantic models, data contracts, validation engines, workflow logic, tool schemas, or domain‑specific languages. These layers don’t make the model smarter, they make it safer. They limit the ways it can fail.

The result is controlled freedom. The model can still reason, interpret, and accelerate work, but only inside boundaries that guarantee correctness where it matters. And yes, it’s still an LLM. It can still make unexpected choices. But with deterministic layers in place, those unexpected choices fall within the range of what you allow. The system can only be as good as the rules, structures, and constraints you’ve defined.

You can see this pattern in every AI system that has made it into production:

• Analytics tools use semantic layers to prevent hallucinated SQL joins.

• Automation systems use workflow engines to keep agents on approved paths.

• Customer support tools use policy layers to enforce compliance.

• Knowledge systems use retrieval to ground answers in real documents.

The organisations gaining a competitive edge aren’t the ones chasing the “best” model. They’re the ones designing the strongest deterministic scaffolding around it. That’s what turns a probabilistic engine into a reliable business asset

How different types of control fit together

Executives often hear “prompt engineering,” “fine‑tuning,” “guardrails,” and “RAG” used interchangeably. But they serve very different purposes, and understanding the difference helps clarify where the real strategic advantage lies.

• Prompt engineering and fine‑tuning bias the model. They make certain behaviours more likely, but they don’t guarantee anything. It’s like coaching a junior analyst: helpful, but not foolproof.

• Guardrails block or rewrite unsafe outputs. They reduce harm, but they still act after the model has already generated something.

• Deterministic layers define the allowed world the model can operate in. They constrain the action space so the model literally cannot produce an invalid output.

• Verifiability checks the model’s output before it affects the business: schema validation, static analysis, retrieval grounding, consistency checks.

All four matter, but only deterministic layers give you hard guarantees. They’re the difference between “the model usually behaves” and “the model cannot break the rules.”

Why this becomes a strategic advantage

Most companies today are still relying on the first two categories: prompting and guardrails. That’s why their AI projects feel fragile or limited to assistant‑style use cases. The companies pulling ahead are the ones investing in deterministic layers: the structures that turn AI from a clever tool into dependable infrastructure.

The lesson is simple: LLMs become strategically valuable when you give them freedom to think, but not freedom to break your rules. The more intentional your control layer, the more you can safely automate, accelerate, and scale.

As leaders start planning their AI roadmaps, the key question isn’t “Which model should we use?” It’s “What deterministic structure will make that model trustworthy enough to matter?”

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Bonus

A concrete example that led me to write this article: Lightdash’s implementation, letting an AI build dashboards for you.

I'll still be planting new Mental Seeds - those nuggets of wisdom found in my quest for a happy and meaningful life; but now I’ll also be sharing notes and updates from my other creative and technical projects: music, guitar, tech, data, and even movie plots.

To keep things easy and relevant, you can now subscribe to each topic stream individually, so your inbox only gets what you’re genuinely interested in.

Thanks for following along, and welcome to Motion 8!

• Life constantly changes, and acknowledging this reality is crucial.

• If you can't change something, accepting it is vital for mental health.

• Embracing life's changes fosters personal growth, resilience, and a joyful spirit.

Seed

In the ebb and flow of life, change is the only constant. It happens all around us, both swiftly and subtly. Some changes are glaringly evident, while others unfold gradually over decades, requiring a keen eye to discern. Regardless of the pace, change is an inescapable reality.

And as we've seen in another Seed, if something bothers you and you can't affect it, it's best for your mental health to find a way to accept it.

Often, deep within ourselves, we have a silent wish for things to revert to familiar grounds. This can quietly influence our feelings, leading them towards wanting things from before. But holding on to the idea that life must always stay the same can make us unhappy.

Whether we know it or not, we sometimes fight the urge to say no to lots of changes. It's important to admit this inner struggle and work on welcoming the fact that life always keeps changing. For me, I try to get used to this idea every day, teaching my mind to accept that life is always moving and changing.

Think about the people closest to us, the ones we know really well. The person they are in the morning might be different in the evening. Now, look back at your own journey: who were you, and what were you doing five years ago? Change is everywhere, weaving its way through our lives.

Instead of trying to stop what's bound to happen, it's smarter to embrace change willingly. Denying it won't help us at all. Let's choose a plan that helps us accept and move ahead, facing changes with strength and grace.

When we choose to welcome life's changes, we learn something important: our skill to adjust becomes our strongest power. By accepting change, we open the door to growing personally, becoming more resilient, and living with a cheerful spirit.

Example

I love watching videos about retro-gaming, even those featuring games I've never played. The nostalgia is strong, connecting me to memories of carefree days with friends and family. There's a longing to recreate that atmosphere, but firing up an old console only brings a wave of nostalgia – not the same, authentic, past feeling. It's not just the game or the person; it's the whole context that can never be replicated. Things changed. I can grasp fractions of feelings I was having at that moment, using a retro game like a Proust’s madeleine. But that’s as far as it’ll go.

Realising this truth was a mix of sadness and liberation, akin to navigating through stages of grief.

Bonus

I heard of the concept of impermanence for the first time when following an introduction to Buddhism. Although not a religious person, I found a lot of core concepts very valuable.

• Frame goals positively. Focus on what you want to reach, not what you want to stop.

• Use a goal setting framework, like the S.M.A.R.T Methodology (Make goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound).

• Ensure goals align with broader aspirations. Embrace the journey with a positive mindset, sculpting a life that resonates with your aspirations.

Seed

Embarking on a journey towards your goals becomes a more rewarding adventure when you frame them in a positive and constructive light. Instead of focusing on what you want to avoid, define your goals positively. Swap out phrases like “I want to stop ...” or “I will be less ...” with empowering statements such as “I will reach...”

To ensure your goals have a strong foundation, consider the S.M.A.R.T methodology: make your goals specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound.

Specific: you need to be precise about what your goals are. And to be precise you need to break them down into specific smaller pieces. For instance, transform ‘I want to lose weight’ into a more specific target: “I will reach x kg, with a x% body fat ratio by following a detailed exercise plan and daily diet.”

Make your goals Measurable, allowing you to clearly define success. For example, if your goal is to learn Spanish, specify the test and level you aim to pass.

Ensure your goals are Achievable and realistic, preventing demotivation and fostering ongoing motivation.

Check the Relevance of your goals in the bigger picture of your life. Harmony is key; align your goals with your broader aspirations. If one goal involves cutting expenses and another encourages more social outings, find creative ways to make them work together.

The Time-bound element adds structure to your goals. Set clear timelines and periodically review your progress. Life evolves, and so do your values. Flexibility is essential – be open to adapting your goals while maintaining a commitment to self-improvement.

As you probably already heard, the journey is as important as the destination. Embrace the positive feelings that come from framing your goals constructively, empowering yourself every step of the way. With this mindset, you're not just reaching goals; you're sculpting a life that aligns with your aspirations.

Example

Here are 10 detailed examples of S.M.A.R.T goals.

Bonus

The S.M.A.R.T goal setting framework I mentioned is one of many. If you’re curious to find another that suits you better, here’s a list of 15 frameworks you can choose from.

• Recognise signs like difficulty focusing, mood swings, and physical discomfort as silent cries for rest.

• Break the cycle of weariness by embracing short naps – a powerful reset for the body and mind.

• Regular naps enhance focus, memory, and mood, offering a shield against stress in our fast-paced world.

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Seed

In our fast-paced world, where productivity is prised, sleep often takes a back seat. Napping, however, is a hidden gem when exhaustion knocks on the door.

Tiredness, our silent companion, brings along a parade of symptoms that we might not even notice:

• Difficulties to focus

• Memory loss

• Altered vision

• Hunger

• Crankiness

• Difficulty finding solutions

• Irritability

• Mood swings

• Physical pain (headache, joints, back...)

• Palpitations

• Increased stress or anxiety

Caught in the whirlwind of life, it's easy to overlook these signs, entering a cycle of weariness. We convince ourselves that pushing through with sheer willpower or a cup of coffee is the solution, and it might work, but only temporarily.

The irony is that recognising our fatigue can be challenging because we are already tired. Breaking this cycle requires self-awareness and a willingness to embrace a simple yet powerful solution – napping.

Napping is not a sign of weakness; it's a strategic retreat for your body and mind. It's a chance to reset, recharge, and emerge stronger. So, when the symptoms start knocking, make it a routine to hit pause, step away from the chaos, and indulge in a short nap.

A brief nap can work wonders:

• Regain focus: Allow your mind to reset, sharpening your focus.

• Enhance memory: Combat memory loss by giving your brain the rest it craves.

• Improve mood: Bid farewell to irritability and mood swings, embracing a more positive outlook.

Don't wait until you're on the brink of burnout. Listen to your body's whispers before they become shouts. Embrace the power of a nap – your ally in navigating the challenges of a demanding world. The road to well-being often starts with closing your eyes for a while. Give it a try, and let your nap be your shield against the snapping stress of life.

Example

When I started therapy, I realised that a nap was actually the simplest and most efficient way to avoid crashing into my darkest thoughts. For some reason, it took me years to understand that there was such an easy solution, so easy to reach. I guess years of thinking that "sleeping is for the weak" didn't help. But indeed, today, getting 30 minutes to lie down, and sleep without being disturbed is the best remedy for lots of issues.

Bonus

Here is a rather long but equally as interesting interview of Matthew P Walker, professor of neuroscience and psychology at the University of California, Berkeley.

If you don’t have time to go through the entire interview, you can skip to the parts you’re most interested in via the chapters in the description, or even look at some of the top comments that summarise the content.

• Quick Tidy Up List: Break tasks into daily 5-15 min chunks for enhanced productivity.

• Prevents task accumulation, stress, and provides instant mood boost.

• Embrace small victories for a clutter-free mind and improved well-being.

Seed

In the quest for enhanced productivity and a clutter-free mind, I stumbled upon a game-changer – the Quick Tidy Up List. Traditionally, I designated a specific day each week to tackle a range of chores, from household cleaning to financial updates. Yet, as time passed, I found myself confronted with a daunting pile of tasks on that designated day, often leading to a sense of dread.

To counter this, I experimented with a more positive approach. Instead of lumping tasks together, I incorporated a single item into my daily routine – tidying up one area from my Quick Tidy Up List. This could be as straightforward as cleaning the bathroom basin, vacuuming a specific room, organising my desk, or clearing 10 emails.

The genius lies in simplicity – breaking down a substantial workload into smaller, achievable tasks, taking a mere 5 to 15 minutes each. This strategy serves as a shield against the accumulation of tasks and the associated stressors. Plus, the flexibility allows for task adaptation based on daily mood and time constraints.

This daily accomplishment provides an instant mood boost, a tangible 'check' on your to-do list. It transforms seemingly overwhelming duties into manageable triumphs, fostering a sense of pride in fulfilling commitments. As the days unfold, the Quick Tidy Up List becomes a powerful ally in maintaining order, not just in our surroundings but in our mental space too.

So, here's to the small victories – a cleaner bathroom, a tidier desk, and a mind free of clutter. Embrace the simplicity, relish the daily wins, and witness the positive ripple effect on your overall well-being.

Example

You’ll find below examples that you can put on that list. Make your own as personal and detailed as you like. Just keep in mind that the more you break it down, the easier each step will be to achieve. Also, while making that list, make sure you will have all the appropriate tools and the right setup to get started quickly.

1. Clean bathroom sink

2. Vacuum a specific room

3. Organise desk

4. Read the Mental Seeds you’ve missed

5. Wipe kitchen countertops

6. Sort and recycle paper clutter

7. Make the bed

8. Water indoor plants

9. Declutter a drawer

10. Sweep the porch or entryway

11. File or organise digital documents

12. Dust shelves and surfaces

13. Empty trash/recycling bins

14. Respond to quick, non-urgent messages

15. Update a portion of your budget

16. Fold and put away laundry

17. Clean out the fridge of expired items

18. Straighten up the living room

19. Set aside items for donation

20. Unsubscribe from unwanted email subscriptions.

Bonus

Since we’re talking about cleaning (among other tasks), here’s a channel dedicated to efficient home cleaning.

• Use daily affirmations to shift your mindset for positive change.

• Fill your thoughts with positivity, avoiding self-deprecating sentences.

• Reframe negative sentences in truly (non-sarcastic) ones.

Seed

In the journey towards mental well-being, one powerful technique stands out – the practice of positive affirmations. Words hold immense strength, and when you repeat positive statements daily, you create a shift in your mindset that can lead to positive behavioural changes.

Since you can't control what others say, choose to fill your mind with good thoughts. Allow yourself to think happy and kind things about you. Be your own source of comfort when you need it. Stay away from making negative jokes or talking down about yourself; it can hurt more than you think. Of course, it's good to be humble, and to be able to laugh at yourself. But be careful not to make a habit of putting yourself down. Sometimes it's difficult to see the line between just not taking yourself too seriously and harmful self-deprecation.

As we discussed in The Cheer Time Capsule, you can compile a list of positive affirmations that resonate with you. Read them aloud, reinforcing their positive impact throughout your day.

Crafting positive sentences isn't always easy, especially in challenging situations. However, doing so can cultivate a more optimistic outlook and project a positive image to those around you.

When negativity creeps in, consciously transform it into a positive statement. Reflect on whether you'd say the same thing to someone you love or admire. If not, spare yourself from such self-criticism. Be careful not confusing sarcasm for positivity. And keep in mind that it’s okay to give yourself a break.

By consistently and mindfully practicing positive affirmations, you nurture a mindset that fosters resilience, self-compassion, and a brighter outlook. Transform your inner dialogue, and watch as your external world mirrors the positivity you've cultivated within.

Examples

A few sentences that sometimes help me get past negative framing.

• The absence of solution right now doesn’t mean there is no solution at all.

• Mistakes are part of the improvement process.

• We’re only human, and we’re all imperfect.

• Struggle means there is progress.

Bonus

Matt D’Avella trying daily affirmations for 7 days. I think it’s the funniest video I’ve seen on this topic.

• Flexibility and Moderation: Embrace these as practical tools for lasting mental well-being; view habits as adaptable frameworks rather than rigid rules.

• Break Streaks for Rest: Recognise the importance of occasionally breaking habits or routines to rest and recharge, promoting long-term sustainability.

• Beware of Absolutes: Avoid applying advice in absolute terms; life is nuanced, and success lies in the flexibility and moderation of progress, not rigid adherence to rules.

Seed

In our quest for improved mental well-being, embracing flexibility and moderation is key. These are practical tools for sustainable change.

Think of building new habits as constructing a framework for a healthier mindset. Yet, it's crucial to acknowledge that life is unpredictable. There will be days when circumstances prevent us from adhering strictly to our routines, and that's perfectly okay. We're human, not robots.

If you miss a day or break a streak, it doesn't erase your progress. Consider it a necessary pause, a moment to rest and recharge. In fact, breaking a streak occasionally can be beneficial, allowing you the space needed to maintain these habits in the long run.

Your mental well-being is not a rigid structure; it's a dynamic process. Don't turn self-improvement into a set of rules that suffocate you. The goal is to make your life easier, not to create a new set of constraints.

Flexibility in your approach is your ally, not a sign of failure. Life is filled with unexpected twists, and your habits should have room to adapt. Moderation is the compass that keeps you on course. Moderation does not mean “not enough”. It just mean avoiding excess and extremes. Sometimes, we forget the importance of taking time for ourselves. Breaking a routine occasionally isn't a flaw; it's a recognition of your own needs.

Additionally, beware of turning advice into absolutes. In the context of well-being, no guideline should be applied without exception. If you catch yourself thinking in rigid terms, you may be missing the point. Life is nuanced, and your approach to self-improvement should be too. Embrace the fact that perfection is an illusion, and success lies in the ebb and flow of progress, not in unwavering adherence to a set of rules.

If you haven’t seen them yet, I wrote two Seeds specifically on the benefits of breaking streaks and creating elastic habits.

Example

Last week, I did not publish the weekly Seed. I broke my 40 weeks streak. I felt uninspired, tired, and had no post ready to go. I knew these were signals that it was time to take a short break. Nevertheless, letting go was challenging — until I committed to it and decided to celebrate the fact that I was allowing myself to rest that evening.

Breaking a positive habit is surprisingly easy, yet finding peace with that decision can be difficult.

I’m happy that I managed to follow my own recommendations. I'm not a fan of "do as I say, not as I do" or other double standards speeches, and I try my best to avoid that.

And I think it was a good idea to take that break as I feel much happier to write this one today than I was feeling last week.

Bonus

Indirectly related to today’s topic, but interesting enough to share:

Summary, if you don’t have 17 minutes:

• Defensive Failure and Mindset Blocks: Ever promised yourself a gym-filled week only to find Friday rolls around with zero visits? Amanda Crowell introduces the concept of defensive failure and identifies three powerful mindset blocks - those invisible barriers that keep us from turning intentions into actions.

• "I Can't Do It" Mindset Block: Do you ever believe some people have an innate talent or genetics that you lack? She shares her experience with exercise, highlighting the shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Mistakes aren't proof of failure but stepping stones toward success.

• "People Like Me Don't Do This" Mindset Block: Our identity, carefully crafted through adolescence, becomes a shield against actions that might threaten it. Discover how aligning your goals with your identity is the key to overcoming this mindset block.

• "I Should Want to Do It, But I Don't" Mindset Block: External motivations often fall short when the going gets tough. She delves into the importance of intrinsic interest - the fuel that sustains long-term commitment and trumps fleeting external reasons.

• Breaking the Cycle: How do we escape this cycle of defensive failure? Amanda encourages us to embrace a growth mindset, align our goals with our identity, and foster intrinsic interest. It's about turning defensive failure into a journey of productive failure, where mistakes lead to improvement and, ultimately, success.

Today marks Mental Seeds' 40th publication, and it feels like the perfect moment to reflect on what we have covered so far.

Before we delve into that, I want to express my gratitude for your support. The sporadic messages I receive after every Friday publication truly warm my heart.

Now, let's delve into the essence of our journey. Let's attempt to summarise the 10 most crucial concepts we have explored:

1. Nurture your well-being 🌿: Prioritise self-care and positive habits to cultivate a fulfilling and balanced life.

2. Foster a constructive attitude 🏗️: Approach challenges with optimism, embracing the opportunity for growth and learning in every situation.

3. Embrace letting go 🍃: Release the weight of the past, allowing yourself to move forward with a renewed sense of lightness and possibility.

4. Build your resilience 🌊: Develop inner strength and adaptability, knowing that you have the power to overcome any obstacle that comes your way.

5. Practice mindfulness 🧘: Cultivate present-moment awareness, finding peace and clarity in the simple joys of daily life.

6. Show yourself self-compassion 🤗: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, acknowledging that you are doing your best in every moment.

7. Embrace acceptance 👌: Embrace life's ups and downs, knowing that every experience contributes to your personal growth and strength.

8. Plan with purpose 📝: Set clear goals and take deliberate steps toward your dreams, understanding that each action brings you closer to your desired future.

9. Prioritise what truly matters 🥇: Focus on the people and activities that bring you joy and fulfilment, ensuring that your time and energy are dedicated to what truly resonates with your heart.

10. Celebrate your progress 📈: Acknowledge each step forward on your journey, recognising that every small accomplishment is a testament to your dedication and perseverance.

I hope you found at least one nugget in this blog that can help you grow.

Please let me know if you have any suggestions or recommendations for future publications.

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• You don’t have to always suffer to have a meaningful impact.

• Ease and simplicity can indicate proficiency and efficiency.

• Achievements don't always require pushing boundaries; finding balance is essential.

Seed

Some people believe that their efforts only hold value if they suffer while accomplishing their goals. There's a prevalent notion that if something comes easily, it must be less meaningful than if it were a struggle. However, this perspective isn't necessarily accurate.

The measure of worth should not be solely determined by the level of difficulty or hardship one faces during the process. It actually depends a lot on the context. The value of our achievements can be seen by the impact they have, the effort we put or the intention we had. It depends on the ones who are on the receiving end of what we do.

Ease and simplicity can signify efficiency and proficiency. Perhaps you're already highly productive and don't experience struggle because it's become a part of your routine. Maybe what you're doing today is good enough, and constantly pushing beyond that may not be necessary. Actually, overextending oneself too often can be counterproductive. We rarely excel in anything while we’re burnt out.

So, suffering doesn't always mean doing things right. And actually, being your best self and spreading happiness around you can be enough to bring value, joy, and positivity to others' lives.

Choosing to make yourself miserable isn't always proof of doing a lot for others. These two concepts don't have to be tightly intertwined in your mind. You have the option to contribute to others while feeling fulfilled.

Of course, occasionally, you may need to push yourself to grow, which is entirely acceptable. But you don't always have to push the boundary further; balance is key.

Life doesn't always have to be a competition. If that's your drive, go ahead and compete, but ensure you are aligned with yourself before engaging. Remember, there's likely at least one other person somewhere in this world who’s better or as good as you. And if you don't feel like putting the effort to be the absolute best at something, make sure you accept it for what it is. No matter what path you choose, be sure to be honest with yourself and be conscious about the reasons why you make this choice.

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Example

There’s something about the topic of this Seed I’d love to get your opinion on.

Can you think of an “equation” to measure the worth of your actions?

Let me propose four variables to start: impact, opportunity cost, intention, effort.

Let’s take as a first example a kid who wants to surprise their parents by cleaning all the windows at home. The value of this action could be measured by:

• the impact of the action itself: how valuable is it to have cleaner windows at home? is the cleaning good enough or did it make the windows look worse? …

• the opportunity cost of this action: could the kid have done something else instead that was more valuable? is the result great, but they used 12 bottles of cleaning product and 4 packs of kitchen towels? …

• the intention behind this action: did the kid mean to help? did they just do it for fun?

• the effort required to accomplish: was it difficult for them to do it? did it take them a lot of time?

Now consider the same variables, with this second example: this kid - really into surprise cleaning, apparently - decides to clean their parent’s car. And they just do so with a dry cloth, without washing the car with water beforehand, leading to, yes, less dust and dirt, but oh my, also wonderful scratches all over the car.

How do you measure the value of this action?

The intentions and efforts might sometimes not be enough to compensate for negative impact and/or intentions.

But I can’t think of a realistic example of a positive impact being dragged down by the intention and effort variables. Can you?

Let me know what’s your equation to estimate the value of one’s actions. I’m really curious.

Bonus

If this Seed’s topic resonates with you, you might want to search for content around Toxic Productivity.

Here is one video I found when searching the subject. If you find the first 10 minutes uncomfortable to hear, be sure to listen to the recommendations coming after that. You might fin gold there.

• The grief stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

• Grief is a complex experience and all stages will not necessarily occur and may not follow a specific sequence.

• Recognising and understanding these stages can provide a framework for reflection and emotional resilience.

Seed

The five stages of grief are a well-known concept today:

• Denial / Isolation

• Anger

• Bargaining

• Depression

• Acceptance

There are also many misconceptions surrounding them. Typically, these stages may not all occur, nor will they follow a particular sequence. Grief is a complex experience, and each of us undergoes it differently. Furthermore, these stages can be relevant to various circumstances, not exclusively the loss of a loved one. Grief can arise from separation, a professional project, or personal disappointments.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t value in this model.

Specifically, I believe that knowing the existence of those stages and emotions can help us being more lucid about what we’re going through. For instance, if you are aware of those stages and notice an unusual surge of anger, that can help you take some distance from those emotions and try to analyse what happened. Is this a temporary thing, or is it part of a larger situation you are going through?

It won’t give you a roadmap about what emotions or stages you can expect to live next. But it can serve as a framework for reflection and understanding the significance of your emotional journey.

Generally, as we’ve already seen in other Seeds, it is important to be aware of our emotions, make sure we give them space to let them live and go, instead of suppressing them. But if you feel something and can’t really recognise it, you won’t be able to label it precisely. And that’s when emotions start to feel overwhelming. Generally speaking, it’s when you start living something intense without understanding what is happening, that’s things can start to be difficult to manage.

Familiarise yourself with these stages to develop emotional intelligence and improve your ability to express and navigate your feelings effectively. Understanding where your heart is at during challenging times can be a powerful tool for emotional resilience and growth.

Example

Once, I faced a profoundly disappointing setback in my career. Initially, I didn't grasp how deeply it affected me. I had high expectations for the project, but it ended prematurely, and I had to come to terms with its failure.

It took me a while to recognise the mix of anger, frustration, and despair I was experiencing. Realising that I was going through phases similar to the grieving stages helped me comprehend the project's significance and my intense emotional response. I wasn't actively seeking the next stage, but I acknowledged that there could be further phases to navigate before I could move on.

Bonus

Here is a great article that talks about those stages, and some of the misconceptions we may have around them.

And I like the illustration from this article that sums up those misconceptions:

• Curiosity fosters growth and understanding, helping to alleviate conflicts in conversations.

• It encourages meaningful connections and effective communication by prioritising active listening.

• Practicing genuine curiosity involves refraining from imposing opinions to better understand others' perspectives.

Seed

Being curious is generally a good recommendation when it comes to opening ourselves to other perspectives. It’s a habit that encourages us to push outside of our comfort zone and grow.

But curiosity can also contribute to reducing conflicts in conversations. Demonstrating genuine curiosity and seeking to understand the other person's perspective can defuse potential confrontations.

If you often feel angry with the world or find yourself frequently arguing or passionately defending your opinions unnecessarily, curiosity can be a great strategy to employ. Showing genuine curiosity, trying to understand what the other is saying and how they came to the point where they are at won’t leave much room for confrontation.

Furthermore, curiosity helps foster connections with others. Showing curiosity, regardless of the topic, can create an opportunity to bond. Imagine how you feel when you talk about something you enjoy, and someone asks you to share more.

The crucial part is to ensure you don’t allow your ego or judgmental thoughts to dominate the interaction. If you sense these emotions welling up, make a physical gesture to remind yourself to remain curious. For example, you can cross your arms or place your hand over your mouth, anything that will prompt you to listen first.

Another essential aspect of curiosity is avoiding ulterior motives, such as persuading the other person. Whether you intend to sell an idea or a product, understanding the other person's needs, wants, or values should precede your attempts at persuasion. Genuine curiosity begins with a true desire to actively listen and understand the other person’s viewpoint before attempting to convince them of your perspective.

In my field of work - data - Scott Taylor advocates for "Truth before Meaning." While truth can be subjective, the idea here is to ensure you comprehend what you observe before rushing to interpret it.

And as French writer Bernard Werber rightly put it:

Between what I think, What I want to say, What I believe I'm saying, What I say, What you want to hear, What you hear, What you understand... there are ten possibilities that communication may encounter difficulties. But let's try anyways.

Finding "truth" through communication is challenging. So remember be patient and open-minded. As always show compassion towards others, and towards yourself when you practice this exercise.

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Example

Certain spiritual topics often evoke a compelling urge in me to interject with my perspective. I find myself instinctively driven to challenge the ideas presented. Regrettably, this inclination has led to some contentious conversations within my personal circle. In hindsight, I realise these discussions could have been much more peaceful had I refrained from expressing my views and instead simply listened. To remedy this, I have actively embraced the practice of curiosity. When confronted with these topics now, I make a conscious effort to comprehend their underlying principles, mechanics, implications, and what value this belief adds to this person’s life. I've been very surprised to find that this approach helps temper my impulse to interject and critique the potential biases within the concepts presented to me.

Bonus

If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a recipe for one form of curiosity.

And here are two channels practicing street epistemology, which I highly recommend.

• Street Epistemology

• Cordial Curiosity

One of my favourite Cordial Curiosity episode:

• Embrace your imperfections as part of being human, and seek support in your journey to live with imperfection.

• Recognise the choice between accepting or changing imperfections.

• Find the right balance between self-acceptance and personal growth.

Seed

Embracing Imperfection: A Path to Inner Peace

In life, we often find ourselves facing challenges and imperfections that can be overwhelming. While it's essential to seek professional guidance for serious issues, there's also value in learning to live with imperfections that are a part of being human.

We all have our flaws and quirks, and that's perfectly okay. Our personalities are shaped by a combination of genetics and life experiences, resulting in unique imperfections. Rather than constantly fighting these aspects of ourselves, we can choose to embrace them. It's a way of acknowledging that these imperfections are a part of who we are, and they may never completely disappear. However, we have the power to create an environment in which we can manage and control how these imperfections affect us.

Speaking of environment, imperfections can extend beyond ourselves and include contextual elements. In such cases, we are often presented with a choice: accept or change. The decision may vary depending on the specific imperfection or challenge.

The path to living with imperfection is not one-size-fits-all. There are numerous ways to approach it, and the solution can differ from one situation to another. The goal here is to initiate a conversation and reflection on the imperfections or challenges you might be currently facing:

1. Identify Your Challenges: Start by recognising the issues you're currently battling. It might be a personality trait, a behaviour pattern, or external circumstances.

2. Consider Letting Go: For some challenges, consider whether it's worth letting go or accepting them as a part of who you are. Assess the cost and benefits of releasing the need for constant change or improvement.

3. Seek Support: Engage in conversations with friends, family, or professionals who can provide insights and support in your journey of learning to live with imperfection.

The journey to embracing imperfection is a personal one, and it's about finding a balance between self-acceptance and personal growth. It's an essential reminder that we are all imperfect, and that imperfection is what makes us beautifully human.

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Example

We're all wired differently, and it seems that I'm among those who are affected by depression maybe slightly more than the average. There was a time when I thought it was something I'd never be able to eliminate. Later, I came to accept that it's actually something I should learn to live with. Interestingly, through this acceptance and the process of learning to live with it, I eventually discovered how to reduce both the frequency and intensity of these phases.

So in the end, learning to live with this imperfection, accepting it, made it less prominent.

Bonus

There’s this book that highly inspired this post and more generally this blog, “The pursuit of perfect”, by Tal Ben-Shahar. I highly recommend it if you tend to chase perfection to a point that it’s often exhausting. I really like one of the key concepts which is to learn to become an optimalist, instead of a perfectionist.

Here’s an imperfect summary if you want to get better idea:

• Life's challenges are unpredictable, and we face various tests without warning.

• Embrace life as an ongoing university, where you have the freedom to choose your lessons and prepare for the tests it throws your way.

• You don’t have to be excellent everywhere. Focus on what’s important to you, and leverage synergetic skills.

Seed

I remember I didn’t really like school. But in my adulthood, I've sometimes longed for the simplicity of that time. Back then, life was structured: classes, study sessions, and predictable tests if you prepared well.

Now, life throws tests at us without warning. It throws a lot of them, in so many different shapes and forms: a project going off the rails, illness, challenges at the workplace, losing someone, or even dropping a plate full of delicious Pad Thai... They can feel random and unfamiliar, sometimes on subjects we've never studied. Failing a life test can seem unfair because we weren't given a guidebook.

But these tests often boil down to one essential question: What are you going to do about it? How will you choose to react?

As responsible adults, it's our job to prepare for as many of life's tests as possible. Yes, it's more challenging, but it's entirely achievable.

Consider this: life presents tests that are indeed very challenging. But we also pass tests we might not even recognise as such because we've become so skilled that they feel effortless, sometimes even enjoyable.

Another point to consider is that you might be able to tackle many different tests or at least make them easier to handle by developing just one skill. Resilience, for instance, applies to various scenarios.

So, view life as your ongoing university. You have the freedom to choose your teachers – countless mentors are out there, willing to help you grow. And you have the flexibility to select which 'classes' you'll attend and for how long.

But with freedom comes responsibility. It is your responsibility to seek out new classes and organise this learning path so that you can be prepared when the tests arrive.

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Example

I have a dog - as you may know by now. The day she passes away, I'll obviously be devastated. And the worst thing that could happen to me is not being prepared for that.

I have the benefit of knowing it is going to happen. But I don’t know when. Therefore, every day I'm around her, I make sure to spend at least a few seconds to pet her and think about the fact that this could be the last time, and that I am grateful to have had her in my life until now.

It’s not a sad thought; on the contrary, it fills me with joy because I am truly grateful. I know that if she were to disappear from my life the next day, I will have done everything I could for myself to be at peace with this.

That doesn’t mean I won’t feel a thing, but I will feel more ready, and I will have no regrets.

Bonus

I have the perfect YouTube channel to share in this post: The School of Life

They cover a wide range of topics, and have nice animations.

• Losing motivation in a project is common as initial excitement fades over time.

• To revive motivation, write a note to your future self, highlighting why you started and any current inspiration.

• Show compassion in the note.

Seed

Have you ever begun a new project with lots of excitement but then found your motivation slipping away as time goes by? It's a common experience. The initial excitement is fantastic, but as days and weeks pass, your enthusiasm can fade. Maybe there’s too much to do. Or it started to feel repetitive. Or it’s just not as rewarding as it used to be or as we expected. So here is an idea to help you stay on track and rekindle your motivation when things get tough.

Capture the essence of your initial excitement and motivation by writing a heartfelt note to your future self. Highlight the core reasons why you started this journey. Your eagerness and impatience to begin stem from strong motivations, so jot them down with care. Include anything that currently inspires you, knowing that these feelings might change as the project unfolds. While some reasons may no longer matter later on, others may stay important or turn into new sources of inspiration.

Finally, when you read this note in the future, you'll likely benefit from the compassion you expressed to yourself. So don't be shy to express all the empathy you can. Motivation can ebb and flow, but your written words can serve as a reminder of your initial drive and determination.

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Example

When I initially started Mental Seeds, I had numerous topics related to mental health and productivity that I wanted to document and organize for sharing. However, I was concerned that delving into the details of each topic would be time-consuming. How could I ensure that I wouldn't become overwhelmed by this task and still manage to write about all of them? That's when I had an idea: I would write one topic per week. But how could I motivate myself to commit to this schedule? That's when the idea of a newsletter came to mind.

So now, when the thought of writing one Mental Seed per week feels overwhelming, I remind myself that it was a deliberate pace I chose to ensure I could accomplish the task without burning out. Suddenly, I not only remember the ultimate goal (to document and organise these notes for sharing), but I also feel much more comfortable writing one now than trying to tackle a hundred over a single weekend.

Bonus

I mentioned projects in this Seed, but obviously, you can transpose this idea to many other aspects of your life: relationships, career, health and fitness, financial goals, travel, personal growth… Basically any life decision you commit to.

• Create a "Cheer Time Capsule" filled with notes, memories, and positivity for your future self to uplift your mood.

• Include achievements, self-compassion messages, words of encouragement, inspirational quotes, and/or a gratitude journal.

• Regularly add content to your capsule to build a habit of focusing on positive things and boost your self-esteem.

Seed

You probably already know the concept of time capsules, where you take a box, and put some objects, letters, memories, etc. which you burry for your future-self or other generations to dig out and discover later. I really like the idea of being able to communicate like this with future generations, and creating a surprise for them.

I’d like to use this concept to talk about a tool you can build for your future-self. Imagine having a collection of notes and memories on various topics, ready to lift your mood when you feel like you need an uplift. It's like a personal reserve of positivity that you can tap into whenever you need it. We've explored this idea in a previous post on preparing an emergency plan, and this can be a valuable addition to your mental well-being toolkit.

Here are some ideas for the content of your Cheer Time Capsule:

1. Achievements: Include reminders of what you've accomplished and moments you're proud of. Celebrate your successes, big or small.

2. Self-Compassion: Write kind and encouraging messages to your future self. Remind yourself of your worth and the strengths that reside within you.

3. Words of Encouragement: Collect compliments and uplifting words from people who care about you. These messages can be a powerful source of motivation.

4. Inspirational Quotes: Gather quotes and speeches that resonate with you, ones that boost your self-esteem and ignite your determination.

5. Gratitude Journal: because it’s good to remember what we’ve felt grateful for in the past - and it’s the evidence that we’re taking care of ourselves by writing this journal.

You can start small, and regularly add content to your capsule. Getting into this habit will also help you to focus on those positive things, you’ll see that you will start spotting them more easily and more often than before.

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Example

Personally, I still feel a bit awkward about reading compliments or self-affirmations I've left for my future self. So instead, I started with a list of accomplishments.

I find it easy to become accustomed to our most recent achievements and forget how far we've come. Therefore, I make an effort to document where I was when I started and where I ended up upon completing something. This way, I can remind myself that I have good reasons to be proud of what I've accomplished.

Bonus

One fun part of the exercise is to find how you’re going to call these tools.

Here are a couple of examples: Uplift Galleries, Bliss Boxes, Joy Jars, Well-Being Wells…

Let me know how you will call yours!

• Optimism is a proactive tool that helps you face challenges with resilience and energy.

• Preparing for the worst means being cautious and ready, not expecting failure.

• Balancing optimism and preparedness helps you handle uncertainties confidently.

Seed

Optimism is a powerful tool in your life's toolkit. Hoping for the best is not just a wishful thinking exercise; it's a proactive approach that can help you tackle challenges with resilience. There's another facet to this strategy that's equally important: preparing for the worst-case scenario.

When you maintain a hopeful outlook, you set a positive tone for your projects. It infuses you with energy, determination, and the belief that you can overcome obstacles. But optimism alone, while essential, isn't enough.

Life is unpredictable, and challenges can arise unexpectedly. That's where the concept of preparing for the worst comes into play. It's not about dwelling on negative thoughts or expecting failure, but about being cautious and ready. It's about considering what could go wrong and having a plan in place for such contingencies.

This dual approach is powerful. It allows you to maintain a positive and forward-thinking mindset. At the same time, it equips you with the tools and strategies to face adversity head-on. It's not recklessness; it's a calculated optimism.

Taking action to overcome your fears shouldn't blind you to potential risks. Instead, it should make you more aware of them. When you understand the potential consequences of your actions, both positive and negative, you can make informed decisions.

In life, there are no guarantees. The best and the worst outcomes are always possibilities. Balancing optimism and preparedness will give you the strength to handle life's uncertainties confidently and gracefully.

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Example

You’re going for a hike, hoping to get a great view. But the weather could turn bad anytime. Hope for the optimal weather, it could happen; but also take a good raincoat in case things go south.

Bonus

The closest original quote I could find is from Maya Angelou:

And a testimony about “Finding Hope in Hopelessness”:

• Seeking professional help is courageous.

• Reasons for hesitation include lack of awareness, fear of the unknown, fear of weakness, stigma, finances, and uncertainty.

• Overcoming these barriers leads to personal growth and a better you.

Seed

Seeking help when you're in need is a crucial step towards improving your mental health. There's absolutely no shame in doing this. Just as our bodies aren't perfect and sometimes require medical assistance, our minds can also benefit from professional care. We're all human, and experts in the field have dedicated their lives to helping imperfect beings like us.

Consulting a professional isn't a sign of weakness; it's a courageous step towards becoming a better person. Doctors, psychologists, and coaches are here to support and guide you on your journey to mental well-being.

There are many reasons why some people don’t want to find professional help. Here are a few I’ve noted around me, and how I see them today with a bit of perspective:

• Lack of Awareness: They may not even realise they could benefit from it. That’s why it’s important to take time to assess our situation. Leave our ego aside, and have a good look at our life and how we’re feeling.

• Assumptions: Some people have misconceptions about therapy, often based on stereotypes or false beliefs. It's crucial to educate ourselves about how therapy works, understanding that there are various types and methods. Finding the one that aligns with your comfort and needs is essential.

• Fear of the Unknown: This fear is entirely normal. However, seeking professional help is a safe and structured process. Many of us overcome fear to accomplish various things in life, so why not this as well?

• Fear of Admitting Weakness: Some fear that seeking help is an admission of weakness, as if they can't solve their issues themselves. It's essential to remember that we're all human and face challenges beyond our control.

• Fear of Stigmatisation: This can be a challenging concern. However, one of the most effective ways to combat stigma is through open conversations, which is precisely why this blog exists.

• Fear of Revealing Emotions: Maybe this internal conflict is actually a signal that it’s time to discuss about it with someone who is impartial and trained to handle such conversations in a constructive way?

• Financial Concerns: Depending on where you live, there may be affordable solutions available. Don’t be shy to ask around, find communities online that can share good recommendations. I will add that you should see this as an investment on your future, better self.

• Uncertainty: Some individuals just don’t know why exactly, but they are reluctant, or let the thought drag. No obvious reason. I’ve been there. It took me a few months to do it. I never regretted that decision. And again, maybe this hesitation is a signal that something needs to be done.

Remember, seeking professional help is a courageous choice that shows your commitment to personal growth and well-being. It's a positive step towards becoming the best version of yourself. Don't hesitate to reach out, because you deserve the support and guidance that professionals can provide.

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Example

As I mentioned, it took me a few months to take the step. In reality, I had been living with depression for years without realising what it was. Then, a few more years thinking I could handle it on my own. When I finally understood I needed external help, it still took me a few more months to take the final step and contact someone.

But now that I’m working regularly with my therapist, I can see the progress we’ve made. I am both impressed and extremely grateful.

So I’d like to add a special thanks to my family for discussing this with me without stigma, and to my therapist for all the work we’ve been doing together and all the help I have received to become a better me.

n.b. The photo in this article is neither my therapist nor an accurate representation of a therapist. If your therapist looks like this, you’re probably doing it wrong.

Bonus

There's a book that addresses this topic in a more profound way than I could. It's filled with relatable examples and offers a compassionate explanation of why "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone" (by Lori Gottlieb).

• "No failures, only experiences": Shift perspective from negative to growth-oriented.

• Gain insight from setbacks: Reframe failures as stepping stones for progress.

• Embrace challenges positively: Each experience contributes to personal and professional development.

Seed

If the term "failure" invokes negative feelings, fear or inaction, consider this perspective:

There are no failures, only experiences. You hold the power, to some extent, over how you perceive and respond to these experiences.

The aim isn't to dismiss failure's existence, but to reshape its intimidating image. Actually, failure is often helpful and serves as a stepping stone to progress. And when you view failure as merely another encounter from which to learn, it shifts from being daunting to invaluable.

Consider this: every setback is an opportunity for growth and learning. When things don't turn out as expected, it doesn't mean you've failed. Instead, it means you've gained insight and wisdom that can propel you forward.

Rather than dwelling on what went wrong, focus on what you've gained from the experience. Reflect on the lessons learned, the skills acquired, and the resilience you've developed. These are all invaluable assets that contribute to your personal and professional development.

Shifting your perspective from failure to experience empowers you to embrace challenges with a positive mindset. Challenges are stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. Each one brings you closer to your goals, even if the path is not linear.

So next time things don't go as planned, remember that as long as you take time to reflect on what happened and learn from it, it wasn't a failure, it was a valuable experience.

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Example

When I was creating the artwork for one of my songs, I was doing my best to reach a specific result using Illustrator. Unfortunately, no matter what I was trying there were always artifacts left making the final result so different from what I wanted. I spent hours trying to find a solution, in vain, and eventually gave up.

I really took it as a failure, thinking it’s probably not a tool and a task for me. But then, the next morning, when I looked at it again, I realised that actually, although it wasn’t what I originally wanted, there was something really nice about those artifacts.

So I kept it as it was, realising that it was another “happy accident”, and not a failure. I had actually learned a way to get this unintentional, yet very nice design.

Bonus

Four quotes that inspired this Seed:

• Time boxing: Allocate set time for tasks, moving on when time's up, boosting productivity.

• Challenges: Estimating task time accurately, avoiding overestimation or underestimation.

• Tips: Define goals clearly, break tasks into chunks, start with familiar tasks, consider a review session, reward achievements.

Seed

There are many reasons why sometimes we can’t finish a piece of work. We keep investing more and more time into it, and it seems like it will never end. There’s always something to add, to remove, to improve.

Enter timeboxing (not time blocking). It's a method where you allocate a specific time frame to work on a task, regardless of completion status. Once the time is up, you must move on to another task.

One core challenge when you start timeboxing is to estimate correctly how much time you need to get through a task.

If you overestimate, you will likely end up using all the allocated time and being less productive than you could—see Parkinson's Law. And if you underestimate the time you need, you'll be tempted to set up another timebox to finish this later. But if you do so, you are likely to go back into time blocking mode. As it's easy to block time again and again, and let the task drag for too long. Making you less productive than you could be, once again.

So here are a few tips to help you estimate the time more accurately:

• Define the goal you want to achieve by the end of your session as clearly as possible.

• Break down your tasks into small chunks. If you can break down tasks into bits that can be completed in 25 minutes, that's ideal—see the Pomodoro technique.

• Start your first timeboxed sessions with tasks you already know well and can estimate the time for more easily.

• For tasks that are difficult to estimate, allocate an extra 10% to 20% of time in your first sessions as a safety net.

Here are a couple of ideas to run your first sessions:

• Timeboxing can be stressful, so have a try only when you feel ready to take the challenge. Note that when you're ready for it, it can be quite exciting, helping you get in the zone quickly and giving a greater sense of achievement at the end.

• Prepare your work environment. Make sure you have everything you need to achieve your task, and make sure you won't be interrupted during the session.

• Since you'll be under pressure, you'll be more likely to make mistakes. Consider scheduling another shorter timeboxed session dedicated to reviewing your work afterward.

• Reward yourself for every task you achieve within the set time.

• Try it out, see how it fits into your existing workflow, and make the best of what you discover.

Happy timeboxing!

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Example

For my fellow musician readers, here’s an example of an intense timboxing exercise by Rob Scallon and Andrew Huang: recording an album in 12h.

Bonus

Here are a couple of benefits you can expect from timeboxing. And here some additional tips you can apply.